i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
