I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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