The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
