she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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