We're like a lot better than the average bears
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
