So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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