I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
