My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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