to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
