i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
