he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
