i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
