The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
