Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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