Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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