On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
