I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
