I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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