is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
