Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
