I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
