on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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