you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
