I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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