Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
