After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
