Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so let's talk penis.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
