I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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