And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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