I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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