I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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