I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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