1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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