how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Panties = found
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