just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
