Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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