Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
