forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize