Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
