How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
