Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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