Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
