if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
