HIV tests are more positive than that guy
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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