I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
