Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
