Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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