omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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