I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize