Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
