Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize