i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
