I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
