You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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