About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
