So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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