So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
