saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
