i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
