Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sacagawea was the original milf.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
