come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love you.
Bad choice
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